Heroes Don't Truly Die
by Tigereyes45
Summary: they just become a little corrupted some times. Hawke's gone. Varric and Cassandra lament over it. Eventually, Varric has to do something else with his life, then, somehow, Hawke comes back.


It was strange, not having Hawke around. Everything felt plainer. He had only been there for a few days, but to Cassandra it felt much longer. The champion of Kirkwall was actually here, with the inquisition! She was slow to approach him at first. She wasn't scared of the champion despite what Varric would spread around. Cassandra had just been concerned that Varric may have already told the champion lies about her. Oh, how she wished she had mustered up her courage sooner, for she had only gotten to spoke to Hawke once or twice during his stay. Before they went into the fade.

"Champion," Cassandra had called out. She was approaching him with her best attempt at normalcy, hiding her book within her arm.

"Seeker Pentaghast?" He called back with a small smile. "What can I do for you?" His staff was glowing a mixture of blue and purple magic that would spark occasionally, but that was not what gave Cassandra pause. The red clad, roguish, dwarf that was standing right behind the champion. He had been quick to draw Hawke's attention from Cassandra to say something to the mage. Cassandra watches as a rock forms in the pit of her stomach. What were they talking about? Was the dwarf telling Hawke to turn down her request? He already knew what Cassandra had planned to ask the champion. Hawke laughs and nods as Varric smiles back up at him. There was something about the looks they shared that made Cassandra envious of them.

Cassandra continued her approach waiting patiently for her turn to speak. With a smirk on his face and a slight squeeze of the champion's hand that most may not have taken notice of, Varric left them.

"What can I do for you Seeker?"

"I-i," she began to stutter then but was quick to stop herself. Taking a deep breath Cassandra tried again presenting the book now. "May I have an autograph Champion?"

The look on Hawke's face was one of surprise than a genuine smile forms on his face. "Of course, Seeker." He takes the book from her and the pen she had stashed away in one of the few pockets of her pants. "You know, I'm honestly surprised you wanted an autograph." Hawke had said as she holds her breath and waits for her book to be returned to her.

"Did Varric not tell you?" Cassandra had asked, surprised the rogue had not let it slip.

"No. Now he's told me a great deal about you Cassandra, but not that you were a fan. Thought for sure you were coming over to take my head and send me to the chantry for my crimes in Kirkwall." Hawke had said with a laugh.

"Those weren't crimes. True war had broken out, but the situation was heated before you even arrived Champion. Orsino and Meredith are to blame. Meredith should not had let herself succumb to red lyrium, and Orsino was a blood mage after all. You did not know."

Hawke had not stop smiling since they had begun their talk, however when mention of Orsino and Meredith he frowned deeply. "Here is your book Seeker." He hands it back and turns to leave.

"Champion," Cassandra began to call out, but he was gone and, in the inn, before she finished. She decided she would apologize later and had walked away, happy with her signed book.

The fond memory had been her favorite during Hawke's stay. Now she was sitting above the armory, staring at the signature on the inside cover of it. They had just gotten back from Adamant. The wardens and their obsession with the deep roads had cost them Hawke. She tried to comfort Varric but he was inconsolable. Angry and feeling betrayed he stormed away from them and walked back to the Inquisition in silence. She understood why he felt that way, for Hawke was his dear friend. He had known the Champion before they ever were one. That was how Cassandra rationalizes Varric's grief. She too felt grief, but the rogue had not left the hearth in the main hall at all. Normally Cassandra would chop that up to him having a fondness for firelight when he tells one of his stories, but he would not even go to his bedroom now. Cassandra and the inquisitor were growing more worried.

She turns the pages in the book and notice one of them were ripped in the very top corner. She checks which page it was. It was one from the first chapter. Luckily the rip did not tear at any of the words, for it did not go much farther than the top corner. It was all completely still legible. A sigh escapes her. This was her signed copy after all. She begins reading the page. It was the moment when Varric, and Hawke had left to go meet with the warden Anders.

That was near the beginning of their story and Varric had spared no expense with the details. Cassandra always felt she was right there with Hawke and his friends when she read the stories. She never questioned how Varric knew all of the events for everywhere Hawke went Varric would go with him. They were close. That was why Cassandra had sought after Varric when the champion went missing.

Cassandra skims through her book, reading over the occasional paragraph as she flips through the pages. Varric really knew how to tell a tale. Cassandra imaginings of Hawke weren't all accurate but she was happy to meet the man even if it meant dealing with Varric and his insufferably smug attitude.

Her hand pauses as she had begun to turn another page. A line caught her eye that she had never really paid much attention to before. 'Hawke flirted with the roguishly charming dwarf.' Of course this didn't mean much. Hawke often flirted with their fellow companions in the book. Just how often had it been that he flirted with Fenris or Merrill? Cassandra couldn't remember. A few more pages slip by under her fingers until she reaches a point after Hawke had lost their mother. There was no part in it where Varric consoled Hawke even though he had killed the man who wanted to continue the blood mage's work. Gascard was his name and Quentin the man who took Hawke's mother away.

There was no mentions in the books of Varric comforting the mourning mage. Instead it had been Aveline who went to the clipped bird and helped him stand after arguing with his uncle. Why hadn't Varric checked up on Hawke?

"Enjoying the read Seeker?" Cassandra jumps in surprise as her reading is interrupted. She hides the cover of the book so the rogue would not spot the title.

"Yes I was."

"Which book is that?" Varric asks as he sits down in a chair at one of the tables. Cassandra peers down at him. His broken nose was almost fully healed by now but there was still a permanent mark left there.

"It is not one of yours." Cassandra lies as she sits down across from Varric. She tucks the book under the table in her lap. Cassandra wasn't sure why she lied but she did not want the dwarf to know she was rereading Tales of the Champion, again.

"Oh, it is one of Brother Genitivi's? I know Sparkler enjoys his books." Varric says casually.

"Yes it is. Dorian asked that I read it so we can discuss it at a later point."

"Uh-huh. It's pay back for you making him read my Swords and Shields novel isn't it."

Cassandra bows her head to try and hide the blush. She shakes her head deciding to go along with the story Varric had made. "Yes." She states and clutches the book in her hands under the table. She could hear Varric chuckle and immediately her blush dissipated and she could look at the dwarf cooly again.

"You know I'm not surprise you had Dorian read it but did you really have to read it to the kid?" Varric jokes as he taps a finger against the table a couple of times. His laughing dies out and he rubs the back of his neck as they do.

She watches him keenly. "Varric, how are you holding up. I know Hawke and you were close friends."

"Best friends he would say. Closer than friends actually." He says a with a little sad laugh. Cassandra was choosing her next words carefully since she knew what it was like to lose someone you cared for. Her mind trips up over his last statement. Closer than friends? Were they involved, or did Tethras mean like brothers? "I'm doing better seeker. I won't pretend that I'm fine, but I'm doing better. I know all my stories always end in tragedy. I wanted his to be different though. At least it was memorable. He always wanted his death to be by dragon or another way that was incredibly ludicrous like the rest of his tales. 'Something memorable Varric, so no one forgets that it was me.' Darn fool." His words were filled with a much more hollow myrth now.

"Varric, were you and Hawke together?"

Varric examines her. Cassandra could tell that he was trying to read her and see if she was serious or not. Eventually he says, "Honestly Seeker I'm surprised it took you this long to figure it out."

"What do you mean?"

"Hawke and I have been together for, well it has been awhile now." Varric says with a sly chuckle. Cassandra wasn't sure if he didn't remember how long or didn't want to think about how many months, maybe even years it had been.

"Since when?" Cassandra was going to press the issue anyways. She felt slightly embarrassed by the fact that she had fangirled quite often about Hawke's heroics in front of Varric now. Surely, he hadn't taken them the wrong way.

Varric looks up at a corner of the ceiling. He thinks back and after a few moments he laughs and rubs his arms. "You know Seeker, I could tell you, but that's a story I rather keep to myself." He says with a smile, but Cassandra thought she saw a flash of melancholy flush over his face for a brief instance.

"I am sorry." Cassandra says as her remorse got the best of her. She looks down at the palm of her sword and suddenly found it very interesting.

"What for Seeker?"

"We left him, in the fade. I did not realize it then that you had lost more than just a friend." Cassandra says risking a glance at the storyteller.

"Best friend."

"What?"

"He was my best friend seeker, and so much more." Varric says and Cassandra could see he was starting to grow sadder.

"We could try to save him. There must be another way to enter the fade and,"

"And what seeker? The only ways we know to enter the fade are through rifts and even if we jump through one we might not make it back or even be in the same place we were with Hawke. How would we find him to? How do you know he is even still alive?" Varric asks and Cassandra is left speechless. She purses her lips and looks away. Varric laughs. "Yeah I'm all out of bright ideas too. I'll see you around seeker." Cassandra stares at the railing as Varric pushes in his chair and takes his leave.

That night Varric could be found playing Wicked Grace with Josephine and The Iron Bull late into the morning. No one was sure why, but the dwarf insisted on playing. They had other people come and join their game and eventually even the advisor and the ben-hassrath had to leave him be, but he always convinced someone else to join in. Varric didn't want the game to end and it only stopped when he ran out of money. He sighs with a smile on his lips and a bubbly voice, probably influenced by the alcohol, and states, "Well that's it for me."

He picks up Bianca latches her onto his back and stumbles out of the inn and towards the steps of the Inquisition hall. He somehow manages to climb the steps, maybe there was something to the rumors of dwarves having some resistance to alcohol after all. Then again maybe it was stupid luck on his part. For as soon as he was in the hall he walks into a chair and almost falls back onto Bianca. Instead he fell forward and caught himself on the seat of the chair.

He mutters something under his breath about the maker and flying or a bird or something. A few late nighters watch as he pushes himself out of the chair and over to the hearth. He sits down besides the flames and leans his head against the side of the hearth. The cool materials on his face contrasting with the hot fires near his body. He winces when he hears an all too familiar voice in his head.

"Varric."

He shakes his head and his frown deepens. Hawke was gone. The hearth in his home was gone, his family was gone, their friends were all spread out. Varric clenches his chest. Hawke was gone. His love was missing, and his chest hurt a great deal. It was not the first time Varric has faced heartbreak, but he could not remember it hurting so badly before. He could hear the whispers of those around him and he finds he just couldn't bring himself to care.


End file.
